Christ and the Suicide Bomber

I'm not one to shy from difficult questions. Nor do I accept most simple answers. I put forward this question with due respect and expect the same. I honestly want to learn more about this topic, and I particularly appreciate anyone who can cite scripture or other books. Serious inquiries only.

My question is this: How does the concept of martyrdom differ between Christians and Muslims? I know enough Arabic to get by in the news broadcasts. I learned the language in the military, and with the language came Arab and Muslim teachers and countless hours of Al Jazeera and Al Aribiyah so I understand more than the average American the Arabic-speaking culture and viewpoint of Muslims.

One term I hear used differently than its translation would admit, is Martyr. In English, we mean by Martyr one who dies rather than reject his religion. In Arabic news, anyone who is killed in military action, not always as a result of non-Muslim militaries, is called a Shaheed. This term is translated into English as Martyr, as both terms literally mean "witness." It does not matter if he was an armed fighter or an innocent bystander. I have asked Arabic speakers and Muslims about this and they say it is because historically, Muslims have often died defending their faith (this would almost always be against an armed Christian, whether or not the Muslim was armed.) The use broadened over time to anyone dying in a conflict.

I have even heard the term "Shaheed" used for a suicide bomber, though I am not sure how many Muslims accept it. This last use is especially alarming to a Christian, since women and children and even Muslims have been killed by suicide bombers.

I have heard this logic from militant writings: the suicide bomber is a Martyr because he dies in a conflict between rightly guided Muslims and apostates or unbelievers. Women and children and even Muslims being killed in the process is just collateral damage.

I do not accept this view at all. My rejection is instinctive, perhaps culturally ingrained. But where is my problem with it?

Our own military imposes collateral damage, of course, that is the nature of all warfare, though we have codified and tried to limit such casualties through the concepts of just and limited war and the Law of Land Warfare. And I have read about people committing suicide rather than convert to another faith both in Jewish and Christian writings.

Part of my problem is using suicide as a military tactic. It's been done before, most notably with the Japanese Kamikaze pilots during WW II, but it still an almost inconceivable concept to a Westerner. For us it is in act of desperation and heroism, a soldier might, for instance, throw himself on a grenade to take the brunt of an explosion to save the men he serves with.

But I do not think that is all there is to my rejection of the suicide bomber. It seems to be deeper, that a man committing suicide and killing others in the process should be called a Martyr at all seems wrong. Perhaps part of my view is shaped by my faith. I know that Muslims differ from Christians on the death and resurrection of Jesus. Indeed, that is where all faiths part ways with Christianity. But hear me out, and comment on this if you choose, or on the first part of this post if you'd rather leave it at that.

"6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life."
Romans 5: 6-10, English Standard Version

To us, Christ was the ultimate Martyr because rather than attack them, he died for his enemies. He did not return hatred with hatred or abuse with abuse. He told his followers they must turn the other cheek, and then did not resist being put to death. He left us with the example of his life, and if need be, his death, to live up to. And we have struggled to do so, and have too often failed in our efforts ever since.